The Walking Dead: The Less Serious Version (Or Something)
by Humor Is NOT For Losers
Summary: What if the game that everyone adores wasn't so dramatic? This would probably be the result.
1. A New Day Part 1

The Walking Dead: The Less Serious Version (Or Something) by Humor Is NOT For Losers

**Author's Note: Wow! Two new stories in less than 2 months. What's up with that?! Anyways, as if you couldn't tell, this is a brand new story. I recently got this game (yeah, I'm a bit late on the bandwagon, but whatever), and it deserves all of the praise it gets. However, the game is so darn dramatic. And that's why this story exists. It's basically the same, but told in a more humorous way. Enjoy!**

Chapter 1: A New Day Part 1**  
**

A police car drove down some random highway at a dangerously-fast speed. Inside the car was an officer (obviously), and some black guy that went by Lee Everett. The officer started a conversation.

"So I assume that you didn't do it?" he asked Lee.

The black fellow said sarcastically, "No, I was picking cherries with my wife when some lunatic came and gunned her down. Yes, I did it!" The officer didn't approve of his attitude.

"I don't like that attitude of yours," the officer said, not surprising Lee in the slightest. The unnamed officer went on to talk about how other criminals would be screaming like a bitch at this point.

But, in Lee's mind, all he heard was, "Blah blah blah."

Twenty minutes of boring dialogue later, Lee noticed some SWAT trucks passing by. Then, helicopters, tanks, UFO's, limos, ice cream trucks, kids on bikes, and giant flying realistic tigers passed by at a faster pace.

"What the hell is going on?" Lee thought.

The officer without a name asked, "Did you know that people can die from wiping their butts with toilet paper?" Just then, Lee noticed a dead-looking Elvis Presley knockoff walking in the middle of the street.

"LOOK OUT!" Lee screamed. Fortunately, they managed to avoid making contact with the Elvis Presley wannabe.

"That was close. For a second there, I thought we were gonna die," the still unnamed officer stated. Suddenly, the car teleported. Where it ended up is the true mystery. Somehow, they ended up on the edge of a cliff.

"Oh SHHHHIIIII-" Lee and the officer screamed as the car was doing flips. Thanks to their ignorance of putting on a seatbelt, they were flying all over the place.

Five painful minutes later, the car finally stopped. However, both men lied unconscious. Well, Lee was unconscious. That poor officer died. Oh well.

Hours later, Lee woke up from his mini coma.

"That's the last time I let a white guy give me a ride," he said. The second he tried to get up, he realized that despite the horrific crash, he only broke his leg. What a lucky bastard. For whatever dumb reason, he kicked a nearby window, even though he was right next to an already broken window. Screw it!

Lee got out of the totaled police car. He looked at his surroundings before seeing the officer. The guy was lying on the ground dead. Of course, Lee's too stupid to notice that. He decided to go to the dead officer and take the keys from his back pocket. However, he tripped a dozen times before getting to the poor guy. Did I mention that Lee's a HUGE klutz? No. Well now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

After Lee took off the accursed handcuffs, the officer moved a little.

"Officer?" Lee asked. Then, out of nowhere, the officer tackled Lee. Luckily, our protagonist managed to push the undead officer away. He crawled back to the damaged car. Then, he noticed a shotgun and a slinky. Like a dumbass, he grabbed the slinky, unaware that he was about to die. The zombie took the slinky, threw it, and ate Lee's brain. And the zombie lived happily ever after.

The End


	2. A New Day Part 2

Chapter 2: A New Day Part 2

Fine! Lee didn't actually pick up the slinky. In fact, there wasn't even a slinky. I just said that so I could be finished with the story. Fucking babies.

As I was saying, Lee took the shotgun and blew the undead officer's brains out. It was pretty gruesome, but at least Lee didn't end up dying. Lee looked at what he just did. The guy had eyes bigger than Katy Perry's.

"Officer! Are you dead?!" the dumbass yelled to the corpse in front of him. Of course, he didn't get an answer. Then, Lee noticed a silhouette several yards away. "Hey! There's been a shooting! Call for help!" However, the mysterious figure walked away. "Don't walk away from me, you son of a bitch!" Unfortunately, as soon as Lee got his idiotic self off the ground, he fell face first. "Why did I have to break my fricking leg?!"

As if the situation wasn't bad enough for our protagonist, some more undead folks showed up. Lee started panicking. He got back up and tried to outrun the said zombies. But he tripped every 5 seconds, making his escape a huge pain in the ass. Finally, he reached a fence. Somehow, he managed to climb over the fence without tripping. I guess God didn't think that it was time for this dipshit to die.

Lucky for Lee, the zombies were too stupid to try and break down the fence. It's not like they had anything to lose (other than a few limbs). Suddenly, a gunshot could be heard. The mindless zombies walked to where the sound came from.

Lee sighed in relief, "Nice try, you dumb zombies!" He looked around to find out that he was in some family's backyard. It had a treehouse, some kid's toys, and everything that any average backyard had.

Lee headed for the back door. He opened the door because he's too boss to knock on the door. Like the backyard, the inside of the house looked like your everyday inside of a house. Lee noticed a home phone near the kitchen. It had 3 messages on it. Because he didn't give a damn, he decided to push the button.

"You have three messages," said a recorded voice over. "Message #1." A beeping sound could be heard.

Then, a voice that belonged to a woman said, "Hey Sandra. There's something I gotta tell you. It's gonna take us a little longer to come back home. My husband got attacked by some freak on the streets. Well, I'm going back to the hospital. See you soon."

The voice over from before said, "Message #2."

Then, the same woman said, "Sandra! Things aren't going so well in Savannah. Something's wrong with my husband. They say it's infecting people throughout the country. I want you to take Clementine and get out as soon as possible. Find a safe spot and stay there. Thank you."

Once again, the voice over spoke, "Message #3."

For one last time, the woman said, "Clementine! Listen to me. You have to call the cops. Their number is 911. We love you, and one more thing. Before you call the cops... get some fried chicken from KFC. I'm freaking hungry! Bye, sweetie."

After those messages finished, Lee said, "Oh my. Now I want KFC." He shrugged it off and went to the kitchen.

However, the second he entered the kitchen, he slipped on something. Everywhere he looked, he saw blood.

"Aw shit! As if my leg wasn't enough, I had to damage my head," he said. Luckily, he soon realized that he didn't make his head bleed. He started rummaging through drawers. He found a walkie-talkie.

"Hello?" the voice of what seemed like a little girl said through the walkie-talkie.

"Shit! Don't scare me like that!" Lee yelled.

"I'm sorry," the little girl said sorrowfully.

Lee sighed, "I didn't mean to make you feel bad. Just don't surprise me."

The little girl said, "Okay. By the way, I'm Clementine."

Lee said, "Hey, Clementine. Where in God's name are you?" A pebble made contact with the window behind Lee. He turned around to see a little girl in the treehouse. She waved at Lee, and he waved back. Unexpectedly, the girl screamed.

"What is it?!" Lee asked. Then, he was grabbed by someone. That someone was a female zombie. "Fuck me in the ass!" He kicked the snot out of that chick (literally).

He tried to run for the hills. Sadly, he tripped for the gajillionth time that day. Despite the fact that his vision was blurred, he managed to kick the zombie's face in. He got up and tried to run for his life. Again, he fell over. But this time, the undead gal gripped on his ankle.

"Let go of me, you bitch!" Lee screamed. Just as the moron was finally gonna die, the little girl from earlier was by Lee's side.

"Take this!" she commanded. Lee took the hammer from her hands and smashed the zombie's brains in.

Before he made his final blow, he said, "Stop! Hammer time!" To his relief, the zombie stayed dead.

"You just had to make that reference," the little girl said.

"Duh!" Lee blurted out. "So, you're Clementine?" She nodded her head. "How long have you been alone?"

Clementine answered, "A while. What's the plan?"

Lee replied, "We leave immediately."

Clementine said, "Huh. So you aren't a complete imbecile?"

Lee asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Clementine answered, "Think about it." The duo left the house and started looking for help.


	3. A New Day Part 3

Chapter 3: A New Day Part 3

As Lee and Clementine got out of the backyard, Lee collapsed.

"God, I'm so tired," he complained.

"Are you kidding me?! You only walked a couple of steps and pushed a fence! How can you already be tired?" Clementine asked, dumbstruck at how Lee was already calling quits.

"I've never opened a fence before," Lee explained. Clementine slapped herself on the face.

"What am I gonna do with you?" she asked herself.

Once they were on the streets, a gun was pointed at Lee's head.

"Don't move a muscle! Or I'll be forced to shoot," some young man threatened.

"We're not one of THEM. We're survivors just like you," Clementine reassured. The guy examined Lee and Clementine. Then, he put the gun down.

"Sorry about that," he apologized. "Ever since this all started, I've been a nervous wreck. Anyways, I'm Shawn Greene. And this guy right here is Chet."

Some obese guy showed up and said, "What's up?"

Lee said, "Nothing. Just barely survived dying. I'm Lee, and this is Clementine."

After that montage of greetings, Shawn asked, "What are you and your daughter doing out here? It's not safe."

Lee said, "Oh, I ain't her father. I'm just some guy that found her all by herself." Shawn was amused by Lee's answer.

"Just some guy, you say?" Shawn stated. "Well, can you and the little girl help us out? Our truck is kind of in a jam."

Lee said, "Sure. How hard can it-" It only took one look to discover that there were hundreds of abandoned cars lying around. "FUCKING SHIT!"

Two hours later, they managed to get rid of 50% of the vehicles.

"This is taking forever," Lee complained.

"Well bitching about it isn't gonna help!" Clementine blurted out.

"I hate you. You know that?" Lee told Clementine.

"I hate you too," Clementine said. Lee rolled his eyes as he continued to push cars.

Unexpectedly, some walkers started showing up.

"Oh crap! Guys, we gotta go!" Shawn said as he headed for his car.

"But we still have around 200 cars to push. What, are we gonna drive over them like were riding a monster truck?" Chet stated.

"Thanks for the idea," Shawn said, shocking Chet.

"It was sarcasm, you dumbass!" Chet yelled.

"Who cares? Just get in the freaking car!" Lee said, sounding like that officer in the Yo Mama videos.

"Again with the references?" Clementine asked. Lee ignored her and headed for Shawn's car.

"Drive!" Chet demanded.

Shawn slammed his foot on the gas pedal, and they were out of there faster than you can say, "Humor Is NOT For Losers had gay sex with your mom!" Wait, what?!

Anyways, before you knew it, they arrived at Shawn's father's house.

"Thanks for the ride. I'll be heading for my mother's place. See you later," Chet told Shawn.

"Bye," Shawn said before Chet left. Then, an older fellow came out of the house in front of them.

"You're back. And I see that you brought guests," the old man said.

"Hey dad. This is Lee. He's some guy that found this little girl all by her lonesome," Shawn said to his daddy.

"She's lucky to have you," Shawn's dad said to Lee.

"I can take care of myself, thank you very much," Clementine pointed out. Lee slapped himself in the face.

"Sheesh. What happened to your leg?" Shawn's father asked Lee.

"A car accident. I'd like it if you fixed it. I mean, if that's possible," Lee replied.

"Alright. Let's get that wound of yours fixed up," Shawn's dad said as he went into his home to find a bandage.

One bandage later, Lee's leg was already recovering.

"There you go. Your leg should be better by tomorrow," Hershel (Shawn's father) told Lee.

"Excellent. My, it seems like I'm ready to hit the hay. Come on, Clementine. It's time to get some shut eye," Lee yawned.

"But I'm not tired," Clementine stated. Lee glared at her. "Fine!"

Lee and Clementine were laying down in a farm. Lee smelled a horrid smell.

"Jesus, it smells like shit in here!" he complained.

"Gee, I thought it smelled like roses in here," Clementine said sarcastically.

"Screw you!" Lee said before snoozing off.

In his dream, Lee was having a good time with his ex-wife. Suddenly, his ex was being taken away.

"HELP!" she screamed.

"NOOOO!" Lee yelled, unable to do a thing about what was happening. He woke up from his terrible dream.

"Thank God," he said before going back to sleep. Sadly, he kept having the same dream over and over again. To keep it simple, his night was pretty crappy.


	4. A New Day Part 4

Chapter 4: A New Day Part 4

Hours later, morning came. Unfortunately, there was no such thing as a pleasant wake up call with the Greene family. An extremely loud alarm went off, waking up Lee and Clementine in seconds.

"BOB BARKER'S BALLS!" Lee screamed. Clementine gave Lee a look of disgust. "What?" Instead of answering, Clementine just nodded her head.

A middle-aged man entered the barn.

"Good morning," he said.

"That wake up call was anything but good," Lee stated. "And plus, this stack of hay isn't exactly like sleeping on a TempurPedic."

The middle-aged man said, "Well, it could be worse. You can have spiders in your hair. My name is Kenny. What's yours?"

Lee answered, "The name's Lee. This is Clementine." Clementine waved at Kenny. "Come on, Clem. Why don't we help Shawn with the fence."

Clementine pointed out, "But Shawn didn't say anything about fixing a fence."

Lee stated, "Actually, I see him fixing it right now." Lee pointed to where Shawn was. Just as Lee described, Shawn was fixing the fence the Greenes used to defend themselves.

Just then, a random kid showed up.

"I are good at blowing up fences. Daddy, I can blow fence up?" the little boy asked Kenny.

"Sure. I'm positive that Shawn would like some assistance," Kenny told his son.

"Yippee ki yay, mother fucker!" the kid cheered as he went to where Shawn was. Lee and Clementine had looks of astonishment.

"What the hell is wrong with that boy?" Clementine asked.

"Clementine!" Lee yelled.

"No, she's right. Duck isn't exactly the smartest person in the world," Kenny explained.

"Why is he called Duck?" Lee asked. Then, a loud, "Quack!" could be heard from the fence. "Oh."

Lee went to the fence to help Shawn.

"Hey Shawn. Do you need a hand?" Lee asked.

"Thanks. I could use it. Why don't you cut up some wood," Shawn said. Lee grabbed a saw and some wood before cutting it into two more pieces of wood. "My father doesn't know how bad it is out there."

Lee asked, "What do you mean?"

Shawn replied, "My dad treats this situation like it's nothing. I saw a man kill a kid. He grabbed a gun, put it on the kid's head, and pulled the trigger. He didn't even hesitate."

Lee didn't really care about anything Shawn was saying, but he asked, "Was that boy one of THOSE things?"

Shawn answered, "I don't know. But it's definitely not like the movies."

Lee said, "They sure as hell don't die easily. I had to shoot an officer's brains out before smashing a girl's brains in." Shawn got wide eyed by what Lee told him.

"Shooting a walker is one thing, but smashing one's brains in is a different story," Shawn stated. "This fence right here is the only reason as to why we're still alive. How's your family?" Lee got bad memories the second Shawn asked about his family. He remembered how upset his parents were when they found out that he murdered that guy.

"God damn it, son! We did not raise you to be a criminal. You've ruined the Everett name for years to come," Lee's dad yelled.

"Lee?" a voice asked. Lee was back in reality.

"Are you okay?" Shawn asked.

Lee answered, "I'm fine. It's just... I'm not too close with my family anymore." Shawn had a frown on his face.

"I'm sorry I asked," he said.

The last of the wood was cut a few minutes later.

"Thanks Lee," Shawn said.

"You're welcome," Lee said as he went to see Kenny.

Once there, Lee asked, "Need any help with that truck?"

Kenny replied, "Nah, I got it. Do you need any help?"

Lee asked, "With what?"

Kenny answered, "With that little girl. Do you have any clue on how to take care of a kid? Do you have any kids of your own?"

Lee replied, "I don't have any kids, but I do know what I'm doing. But I would've liked a kid of my own."

Kenny said, "I see."

Lee asked, "What's up with your son? Is he alright?"

Kenny got a little aggravated by Lee's question, but he answered it by saying, "He's fine, but he's just really stupid. It all happened back when we were leaving Memphis. My wife has a sister there, and we were coming back from a visit. Some man was after my boy on our way back. Luckily, I was on the fucker before he could really hurt my boy. The experience was so bad on Duck that he lost most of his intelligence. You probably won't believe me when I say this, but he used to be one of the smartest people I've ever met. Before we came across this place, we saw a ton of bodies. Regardless, we're a tough family. We don't let anything faze us."

Lee said, "Remind me to avoid your bad side. So, what do you plan on doing?"

Kenny replied, "Our plan? Well, we plan to make it to Lauderdale, and wait until this mess gets solved. The government will give out shots, and the National Guard will do what they do best. Just in case things get worse, we can get on a boat and sail away."

Lee asked, "You have a boat?"

Kenny answered, "I worked as a commercial fisherman before all of this crap happened. We usually caught anything that was biting. Katjaa wouldn't like it, but she'll get over it eventually."

Lee said, "I'll see you later."

Kenny said, "See ya."

Lee headed back to the farm to take a nap. However, as soon as he went in the farm, he saw Hershel.

"How did you get out of Atlanta?" Hershel asked.

"I got a ride before it wrecked. I walked until I ran across a house. While I was looking for help, I found Clementine all by herself. She saved me from becoming walker food. As we looked for help elsewhere, we came across your son. Man, was he a life saver," Lee answered.

"I see," Hershel said.

"This farm's a pretty nice place," Lee complimented.

"Heh. If you told me that 20 years ago, I would've told you that you were full of crap. It wasn't what I wanted to do, but it was in the family. Family is important. Do you agree with that?" Hershel said.

"If that was the case, then yes," Lee replied.

"Where is your family?" Hershel asked.

"They're in Macon with my brother," Lee answered.

"I hope they're alright," Hershel said. He put down the pitchfork he was using. "Can I give you some advice?"

Lee replied, "Sure. Throw it at me."

Hershel stated, "I have no clue on who you are or what you did, but let's just say things don't get better, or things get worse before they ever get better. If you're gonna survive, you're gonna have to rely on the honesty of other people. If they question your honesty, you're gonna be in trouble. And seeing that you have common sense, I think you'll be just fine."

Lee said, "Thanks."

Suddenly, a yell for help could be heard.

"What the?!" Lee said before running for the source of the sound. Then, he saw Shawn's leg trapped under one of the tractor's wheels.

"Jesus Christ, this hurts!" Shawn screamed. What made this situation worse was that walkers started showing up. And to make matters even worse, Duck was grabbed by one of the said walkers.

"HELP ME!" Duck yelled. Lee looked in horror as more walkers kept on coming. He was a rock in a hard place. He knew he couldn't save both, so he went after Shawn. He tried his hardest to remove that tractor, but it wouldn't budge.

"If only I had some spinach on me," Lee grunted. Kenny came to Duck's rescue. He grabbed his son and ran for the hills. "Kenny, help me move this thing!" However, Kenny just looked at Lee before running away. "You asshole!" No matter how hard Lee tried, he just couldn't move the tractor.

Unfortunately, the fence broke. One of the walkers started chewing on Shawn's neck. Hershel appeared with a shotgun. He looked in horror as his son was being eaten alive. Eventually, he shot the walkers' brains out.

He ran to his dying son's side and said, "Don't worry, Shawn. I can fix you."

Shawn said in his dying breath, "Dad. Lee... he tried to... save me."

Hershel said, "I know, son." Then, Shawn shared his final words.

"Dad... don't worry about me. I'll be in a better place. But before I go, I just wanted to say that... that I love you," he said before succumbing to his wounds.

"No. God damn it! Why?!" Hershel screamed. Kenny felt bad about Hershel's son.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. Hershel turned around, even more pissed than he already was.

"SORRY?! Your son is still alive. You don't have any damn right to say that you're sorry!" Hershel yelled.

Lee pointed out, "I tried, but I obviously couldn't do it alone. Because of this dumbass, I couldn't save Shawn. I asked for his help, but he didn't do a damn thing." Kenny got pissed at Lee for his comment.

"Damn straight! Please, just leave. Get out, and never come back!" Hershel yelled before crying his eyes out. Lee gave Kenny the dirty look that he only gave to people he REALLY hated.

"You still have that ride to Macon if you want it," Kenny said before heading to his truck. Lee and Clementine looked at each other.

"Damn, Lee. I didn't think you had it in you," Clementine stated.

Lee nodded his head and said, "Shut up, Clementine."


	5. A New Day Part 5

Chapter 5: A New Day Part 5

After God knows how many hours of driving, Lee, Clementine, Kenny, Duck, and that one chick finally made it to Macon. Just as they entered the town, the truck ran out of gas.

"Looks like this is as far as we're going," Kenny said.

"God damn it!" Lee thought. The group got out of the truck and started looking for help.

"Dada!" Duck randomly blurted out. The little boy was pointing at what looked like someone who could help them.

"Hey there. We need some help," Kenny said to the stranger. However, when the stranger turned around, it turned out that it was a walker eating some poor person's intestines.

"OH SHIT!" Lee yelled as the group ran for their lives.

While they were trying to outrun the walkers, Duck tripped on a penny.

"Duh huh. What a purty dime," he said as a walker gripped onto his shoulders. Just as he was about to become the said walker's appetizer, the zombie's brains were splattered all over the little guy.

"COME ON!" some Asian guy demanded as everyone ran into a nearby drugstore.

Once everyone was inside, the real drama began.

"What the fuck, guys?! I fucking told you to keep that fucking door shut!" some hot bitch yelled.

"But these folks were out there all by themselves. I'm not gonna sit here and watch them die," the other hot chick said.

"God fucking damn it, Carley! When I say that fucking door stays shut, I fucking mean it!" the hot bitch yelled.

"Someone likes the word fuck," Lee mumbled to Clementine.

"What the fuck did you say?!" the hot bitch screamed.

"I said that you should calm down. Trust me, we're not dangerous," Lee lied.

"And why should we trust you?" some older-looking man asked.

"Do I look like the kind to lie?" Lee asked.

"You have a point," the hot bitch said, finally calming down.

Clementine nudged Lee's waist with her elbow.

"What is it?" Lee asked.

"My bladder is about to explode," Clementine said.

"Can it wait? I'm kind of busy right now," Lee stated. Clementine decided to hold it in for a little longer.

"Come on, Lilly. There are kids in here. You need to control your temper (and that mouth of yours)," the Asian guy from earlier said.

"Those fucking things out there don't fucking care!" Lilly screamed.

"Here she goes again," Lee thought.

"Maybe you should join them! You'll have something in common," Kenny said.

"Okay, Kenny. Calm your tits. We wouldn't want to be kicked out by her," Lee said.

"Why? It's not like she's the leader or anything," Kenny asked. When Lilly gave Kenny a glare, it was enough proof that she was the leader.

The old-looking man from earlier took a look at Duck and got wide eyed.

"Son of a bitch! One of these dumbasses are bitten!" he said.

"Don't be stupid! That chick-" Kenny said before Carley interrupted him by saying, "I go by Carley."

Kenny continued with, "Er, Carley shot that fucker before he even made contact with my boy."

The old-looking man said, "Bullshit! That boy is bitten, and you're just in denial because he's your son. We are taking him and throwing him outside!"

The woman that no one cares about yelled, "KENNY! STOP THAT MAN!"

Lee backed them up by saying, "That boy isn't bitten, and I know that for a fact."

The older man screamed, "Don't you idiots get it! This boy is bitten, and if he turns, we're fucked! He's out of here, and that's final!"

Kenny yelled, "You're not doing a damn thing to my boy! You lay a finger on him, and it's you that's dying!"

The older man said, "Yeah. You and what army?"

Lee stated, "This army. You aren't gonna lay a finger on him. If you wanna get violent, do it towards me! Come on, you old fuck! LEE EVERETT IS READY TO KICK YOUR ASS!"

Just as Lee was about to lay a fist on the man's face, Clementine screamed.

"Clementine!" Lee yelled before running for Clementine. Unfortunately, the klutz in him came out once again. His vision was blurry, but he ran for Clementine. Once the zombie was far from Clementine, Lee started to kick that zombie's butt. Sadly, as it looked like Lee was gonna obtain an easy win, the walker caught him off guard. Lee was struggling to get the undead person off of him. When it looked like he was gonna die, the zombie's brains went all over the place. Lee looked to where the gunshot came from. Carley had a gun in her hands before putting it down.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine," Lee answered. Then, he got a good look at Carley. To say it was love at first sight would be too cliche.

Lee sang, "I think I'm in LOOOOVE!" Everyone looked at Lee like he said something retarded.

Suddenly, loud noises could be heard from outside.

"Guys," the Asian guy said nervously. Everyone got behind counters for safety.

"You see what you did?!" the older man whispered to Carley.

"Shut up!" Kenny whispered. Then, different loud noises could be heard.

"Is that the military?" Lee asked.

"Hell if I know," Lilly replied. Several minutes went by before the noises finally died down.

"Phew. It's over," Lee said as everyone left from their hiding spots.

"I can't believe this! We almost died because of this bitch and her itchy trigger finger! DO YOU KNOW WE ALMOST- OW, HEART ATTACK!" the older man yelled before suffering from a heart attack.

"Dad!" Lilly screamed as she ran for him.

"That explains a lot," Lee thought. "What the heck is his problem?!"

Lilly replied, "It's his heart. He has a medical condition that requires nitroglycerin pills. Could you do me a favor and try to get into the pharmacy?"

Lee asked, "Why? Is it locked or something?"

Lilly answered, "We have no clue where the keys are. If you could find them and get into the pharmacy, that would be great."

Lee thought, "You know. This chick isn't so bad when she isn't screaming fuck every 5 seconds."

Then, Lee told Lilly, "Alright. I'll see what I can do."

Lilly said, "Thank you so much."

Kenny said, "Well, it looks like we're gonna be here for a while. I'd recommend looking for anything that could serve a purpose."

The Asian guy said, "I'm starting to think that this drugstore isn't a permanent solution."

Kenny stated, "Well, it's definitely no Ft. Knox."

The Asian guy said, "Then I suggest we find enough fuel to get all of us out of here. There's a motel not too far from here that has plenty of fuel. I get what I can and get the hell out of there."

Lee said, "You have guts, doing something this insane."

The Asian guy said, "Well someone's gotta do it. Luckily, I know my way around Macon. After all, I was born and raised here."

Lee said, "And just in case you get in a jam, I'm giving you this walkie-talkie. Clementine has the other one. Hopefully, you won't need this."

Kenny asked Lilly, "What's your name?"

Lilly replied, "It's Lilly. My dad is Larry."

Kenny said, "And you. You keep a good eye on those walkers out there."

The dorky-looking guy said with a lisp (it's not a gay lisp, by the way), "My name ish Doug. I'll make shure thoshe walkersh don't get in here."

Carley said, "And I'll switch in every now and then."

Kenny said, "Excellent. But for now, get some rest. You know how to use a gun, and I'd like to keep it that way. Now let's get some medicine for Larry."


	6. A New Day Part 6

Chapter 6: A New Day Part 6

Lee was ready to find the keys and get Larry those pills he needed. He started walking around the drugstore, looking at every nook and cranny. So far, all he found were an energy bar and two batteries. He gave the energy bar to Clementine.

"Here. Now don't say I'm a bad role model," Lee said.

"Thanks?" Clementine questioned as she shrugged her shoulders and ate the energy bar. Then, Lee noticed Carley. She seemed to be messing with some radio.

"What are you working on?" Lee asked.

"I'm trying to fix this radio. But no matter what I do, I can't get the damn thing to work. Some assistance would be nice," Carley replied.

"You got it," Lee said as he grabbed the radio and examined it. It only took him a few seconds to see that the radio was lacking batteries. "Um, Carley. Didn't you notice that this radio had no batteries in it?"

Carley said, "What? Huh. There aren't any batteries in here."

Lee asked, "So that's a yes?"

Carley said, "Well, uh... yes. I had no idea that there were no batteries in there."

Lee chuckled, "Lucky for you, I happen to have two batteries in my pocket." He took out the said batteries and gave them to Carley. "You should get it to work now. See you later."

"Bye," Carley said.

At that moment, Lee noticed something that looked oddly familiar. It was a door that led to an office. Also, it turns out that the door was unlocked. Seeing no harm in entering, he went into the office.

"You don't care if I join, right?" Clementine asked Lee, who jumped two feet in the air when Clementine appeared out of nowhere.

"What did I say about surprising me?" Lee reminded Clementine.

"Whoops. I guess it slipped my mind," Clementine said.

"And why do you want to come in here? It's just an ordinary office," Lee asked.

"I thought it would make for some decent character development. You know, so the readers don't get bored from reading this story," Clementine replied.

"Character development? Don't make me laugh. Character development is for losers," Lee laughed.

"Everyday, I'm learning more things about you. Unfortunately, it's not stuff I wanna know," Clementine mumbled as the two entered the office.

The second the duo entered the room, Lee gasped in horror. Blood was all over the place. Besides that, it had a desk, a television, and a mattress. There was a door that led to the pharmacy. Lee got a closer look at the bloody mattress. It didn't take Lee long to learn that this was his parents' final resting place. He felt a few tears coming out of his eyes.

"What's up with you?" Clementine asked.

Lee replied, "It's nothing. I just... have something in my eyes."

Clementine said, "Those are what people call tears."

Lee said, "I would highly appreciate it if you weren't so blunt about everything."

Clementine asked, "Do you even know what blunt means?"

Lee laughed, "I sure don't! But it sounds cool."

Clementine thought, "Figures."

"Now then. Let's move this crap out of the way," Lee said before pushing some junk out of the door's way. However, he was struggling to push the desk out of the way. "It would be awesome if you helped me out." Clementine ignored Lee. "I know I'm not talking to a brick wall. Come and help me already!" Clementine gave in to Lee's demand.

"Can't you do anything for yourself?" Clementine asked in an annoyed fashion.

"I can nuke chicken nuggets and walk on my two feet," Lee answered.

"That's not what I meant," Clementine stated.

While Lee and Clementine were pushing the desk, Lee said, "You know, I've been thinking about something."

Clementine asked, "About what?"

Lee replied, "About our discussion on character development. I guess it would be okay if we talked to each other about our likes and dislikes."

Clementine asked sarcastically, "What, did character development suddenly become cool?"

Lee answered, "Girl, character development has always been a friend of mine. I do things before they're cool."

Clementine thought, "Oh great. A hipster is what the world desperately needed. Damn you, Humor Is NOT For Losers!"

The two went on to discuss their likes and dislikes. In fact, the conversation was a great time killer. And the best part was that the two were getting closer to one another (no, not in a romantic way, you sick bastards).

However, things went downhill when Clementine asked, "Where are your parents?" Lee tried his hardest to fight back tears, but he couldn't. Like earlier, several tears fell from his eyes. "Uh, never mind. I'm sorry if I reminded you of bad memories." Lee stopped crying the minute Clementine said that.

"Don't be. You didn't know that my parents were dead," Lee reassured.

Suddenly, when the two gave the desk one last pull, Clementine cut her finger.

"Ow!" she yelled in pain.

Lee got worried and asked, "What happened?"

Clementine answered, "Nothing. I just cut my damn finger." At that moment, Lee noticed a first-aid kit by the television. He opened it, took out a bandage, and closed it.

"Here. This should help," Lee said as he gave the bandage to Clementine. She wrapped the bandage around the cut and felt instant satisfaction.

"Much better," Clementine said.

Just as Lee was gonna head out, he tripped on the mattress. As he got up, he saw a photo. The photo was of Lee and his family. It reminded Lee of happier times. Then, that smile soon turned into a frown. He ripped off a part of the picture. That part, if you're wondering, was Lee.

The second he did that, a voice asked, "Did you find anything?" Lee turned around to see Carley.

While dropping the part of the photo he ripped off, Lee replied, "I found a photo of the people who lived here."

Then, out of nowhere, Carley said, "I know who you are." Lee was confused.

"Pardon?" he asked.

"Your name is Lee Everett. You murdered a state senator when you found out that he was sleeping with your then wife. The people who owned this business are your parents," Carley pointed out.

"How do you know all of this?" Lee asked.

"Before everything went to Hell, I was a news reporter. I followed that case pretty well. Does anyone else know about your past?" Carley answered.

"No. So far, I've only been sticking to first names," Lee replied.

"Personally, I don't care if you're a murderer or not. You seem like an alright guy. The last thing we need is drama. My advice? I recommend that you tell the truth before someone else does it for you. I trust you, and innocent people getting hurt is the last thing I need," Carley said.

"Then I trust you back," Lee said with a smile on his face.

"Thanks. Oh, and one more thing," Carley said.

"What is it?" Lee asked.

"What was that 'I'm in love' thing all about?" Carley asked.

"Uh... It's nothing. I was just being stupid," Lee said hesitantly.

"Okay? See you later," Carley said with a look of suspicion on her face before leaving.

Clementine walked up to Lee and said, "You are so in love with her."

Lee yelled, "No I'm not!"

Clementine said sarcastically, "Yeah, and John Mayer isn't a womanizer."

Lee said, "Shut your pie hole."


	7. A New Day Part 7

Chapter 7: A New Day Part 7

"Hey Lee. Do you have a minute?" Carley asked Lee the second he and Clementine got out of the office.

"Sure. What do you need?" Lee replied.

"I put the batteries in the radio, but it still refuses to work. Think you can figure this crap out?" Carley explained.

"Let me take a look," Lee said before taking the radio. He flipped the radio to its back and took off the battery cover. It didn't take long for Lee to figure out that Carley put the batteries in backwards. Once he fixed that little error, put the battery cover back on, flipped the radio to its front, and pushed the power button, the radio started working.

"You got the radio to work again!" Carley said cheerfully.

"You're welcome," Lee said. A male voice could be heard on the radio. Just from listening, any person that had decent intellect can tell that this man was a news reporter. He was telling listeners to avoid any contact with the walkers. That is, before a ruckus began. The signal was starting to fade.

Before it was completely gone, the man said, "God bless you all."

"Poor Steve," Carley said with a depressed look on her face.

"You knew that man?" Lee asked.

"He was someone I worked with as a news reporter," Carley explained.

"Oh," Lee said.

Meanwhile, Clementine's walkie-talkie was getting a call.

"Little girl. Can you put your dad on the walkie-talkie?" a voice asked.

Lee noticed, took the walkie-talkie, and asked, "Are you okay, Glenn?"

Glenn answered, "Not really. When I was getting gas, some walkers noticed me. Luckily, I was able to get away from them when I got into an ice machine. However, those dang walkers won't leave. Think you can help a man out?"

Kenny asked, "What is that all about?"

Lee answered, "Glenn is in trouble. Someone's gotta go out there and help him."

Carley said, "If you're going, then I'll go with you. It's always a good idea to have backup."

Lee said, "Looks like it's settled. Come on, Carley. Let's save Glenn's sorry butt."

Carley stated, "You didn't have to say it like that."

Lee said, "Whatever."

A few minutes later, Lee and Carley found themselves at a motel. Walkers were everywhere, there were several abandoned cars and trucks, and some faint screaming could be heard.

"Okay. We're here, but where's Glenn?" Carley whispered. Then, Lee and Carley noticed something shaking in the ice machine nearby.

"Get your gun ready," Lee told Carley as they slowly approached the ice machine. Lee opened the ice machine to find Glenn.

"Thank God! You two are lifesavers," Glenn said.

"That's nice. Now can we leave?" Carley said.

"Not yet," Glenn said.

"What do you mean?! We got the fuel, so let's get out of here," Carley quietly yelled.

"There's a girl up there," Glenn replied as he pointed at a boarded-up door on the second floor of the motel. Walkers were banging on the doors, and muffled screaming that belonged to a woman could be heard. "We gotta save her."

Carley yelled, "What?! Glenn, we don't have time for that."

Lee said, "Glenn's right. We can't just ditch this woman."

Carley said, "You two are suicidal! Over a girl!"

Lee asked, "What if that woman up there was you?"

Carley sighed, "Fine. Let's go save Glenn's damsel in distress."

The group got behind a brick wall. Getting to that door was not gonna be a walk in the park. There were too many walkers. In fact, the whole place was made like a puzzle. Kind of like a video game. Coincidence? I think not!

"Okay, Glenn. Tell me how in God's name we're gonna get to that girl?" Carley asked.

"We'll figure something out," Glenn said. Lee saw a pillow in the distance.

"I have an idea on how to kill these monsters. We're gonna have to shoot them," Lee stated.

As Carley cocked her gun, Lee said, "Quietly. Noise attracts these walkers." He went for the pillow and grabbed it.

"Good luck on smothering them to death," Carley said, dumbstruck at how stupid she believed Lee was.

"That isn't what I had in mind," Lee explained.

They went behind a truck. From there, they can see a walker lying down on a car.

"Get your gun," Lee told Carley.

"What about the noise?" Carley asked.

"Just follow my lead," Lee demanded. The two walked to the walker. Once they were close enough, Lee covered the walker's face with the pillow. Then, Carley put the gun on the pillow and shot the walker.

"Huh. You're smarter than I thought," Carley said. The group was now able to hide behind the car.

Then, Lee got another brilliant idea. He opened the car door and messed with the gear shift. Just as he was about to shut the door, he noticed a spark-plug.

"What the hell is this thing?" Lee asked himself.

"What are you carrying?" Glenn asked.

"Some sparky thinga majig," Lee answered.

"That's a spark-plug. You should keep that for later use," Glenn explained. Lee shrugged his shoulders and put the spark-plug in his pocket.

"Okay. On three, we push this car to that walker over there," Lee said. The group got ready to push the car. "One, two, three!" The car headed for the walker. It easily ran over the unsuspecting zombie.

"Nice!" Glenn cheered.

They went back to the truck. Just then, Lee noticed an awl inside the truck. He tried to break the window with his fist. But, after realizing that he wasn't Superman, he bruised his hand.

"OW! Shit!" Lee yelled.

"What the hell was that?!" Carley asked.

"There's something in the truck. I tried to break the window with my fist," Lee explained. At that moment, Glenn remembered something.

"Lee. Get out your spark-plug," Glenn demanded. Lee did just that. Then, Glenn took the spark-plug, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it.

"What the fuck, man?!" Lee screamed.

"Listen. There's porcelain in these spark-plugs," Glenn told Lee.

"And?" Lee asked.

"Porcelain turns windows into tissue paper. Try throwing it on the window," Glenn explained.

"If you say so," Lee said as he threw the smashed spark-plug at the window. As Glenn stated, the window broke with ease.

"Hell yeah," Lee said as he grabbed the awl.

Once again, our heroes found themselves behind the brick wall. Lee looked at the walker in front of the wall. He quietly walked to it and sent that awl of his straight into its brain. Then, they got behind a nearby RV. Lee noticed another walker. He whistled to get its attention. At the right time, he stabbed the walker in the shoulder before stabbing it in the brain. After that, he crept to the walker that got ran over earlier. In the blink of an eye, the awl disappeared from Lee's hand.

"Where did your weapon go?" Glenn asked with a grin on his face.

"Into that walker's brain," Lee answered.

"Nice! And now we have a better weapon," Glenn said while pointing to an ax. Lee grabbed the ax and headed for the stairs that led to the second floor.

"You two lag behind. Just in case this goes to Hell," Lee said.

Lee started to walk up the stairs. Once he was at the top, he crept to the two unsuspecting walkers. He easily slashed the two walkers into oblivion. Once he was finally at the door, Lee knocked on the door.

"Go away!" a woman yelled.

"Calm down. Me and my group are here to help. Please open the door," Lee said.

"I said go away!" the women yelled again.

"I'm serious. We can help you with all of your troubles," Lee reassured the woman. Regardless, she still didn't open the door. Lee wasn't having any of that. "I'm coming in." He started to open the door by force (aka his ax). After a couple of chops, the woman gave in.

"Stop! You win," she said. After she opened the door, it was revealed that she had been bitten.

"Oh God!" Lee yelled in disgust.

"I tried to tell you. I'm bitten. But no one would listen to me," the woman said.

"Well, it looks like we're done here," Carley said.

"Carley!" Lee and Glenn yelled.

"What can we do? She's been bitten. Who knows how long she has before she turns into one of THEM," Carley asked. At that moment, the woman noticed Carley's gun.

"Excuse me. Can I borrow your gun?" she asked.

"What do you mean by borrow?" Carley asked.

"Can I just have it for a few seconds? You know, take the gun, put it on my head, and end it all," the woman begged.

"Whoa! Stop the train, lady! We did not come here to kill an innocent civilian," Lee said.

"PLEASE! I beg of you! I don't want to be one of THEM! They're... satanic," the woman begged. In his mind, Lee didn't want to give the woman Carley's gun. But his heart knew that this wasn't gonna end happily.

In the end, Lee said, "Carley. Give the gun to her."

Carley said, "Are you drunk?! I'm not giving her my gun!"

Lee said, "Look at this woman! You said it yourself. She's not gonna make it. Just give her the gun, damn it!"

Carley said, "Fine!"

The woman took the gun and said, "Thank you. I know how hard this must be for you guys."

Glenn said before leaving, "I can't watch this."

Lee said, "God bless you."

The woman said, "God bless you too." She put the gun to her head and ended her life. Lee grabbed the gun and followed Carley and Glenn back to the drugstore.


	8. A New Day Part 8

Chapter 8: A New Day Part 8

Lee, Carley, and Glenn finally made it back to the drugstore.

"You're back," Clementine said.

"You got the fuel we needed?" Kenny asked.

"Yes. There's plenty of fuel in the back," Glenn said in a depressed fashion.

"What's up with him?" Kenny asked.

"It's complicated," Lee answered.

Lee noticed Doug looking out for walkers.

"Hey. Doug, is it? How are we doing in terms of security?" Lee asked.

"Nothing major. Thingsh have pretty much been the shame," Doug replied. "Shpeaking of shecurity, you wanna go outshide?"

Lee said, "Whoa there! I'm not suicidal yet."

Carley shouted, "Whatever!"

Doug said, "Don't worry. There'sh a lock on the gate. Thoshe walkersh won't get in sho eashily."

Lee said, "In that case, let's do it."

The two were outside the front entrance. Like Doug said, there was a gate with a lock on it. Everywhere the two looked, there were walkers. They were either walking around or eating human flesh.

"Jesus Christ!" Lee said, who of which was about to puke.

"I know. All they do ish eat. It'sh like that'sh the only thing that keepsh them shatishfied," Doug said with the same amount of disgust as Lee.

"Something tells me that it's gonna be a while before this situation gets resolved," Lee said. At that moment, Lee looked at a certain walker. He could've sworn that it looked like his brother. Spoiler alert: it was!

"Way to spoil it, narrator!" Lee screamed at me. Fine! Let's just get on with the plot.

"Who the heck are you yelling at?" Doug asked Lee.

"It's not important," Lee said. "What is important is that that walker over there looks like one of the people who used to work at this drugstore."

Doug asked, "Really?" Lee took out the family photo from earlier and pointed at his brother.

"See the resemblance?" Lee asked. Doug took a look at the photo and at the walker.

"You're right. But how doesh that help ush?" Doug asked.

"If I'm correct, that walker has the keys to the pharmacy," Lee replied.

"That'sh great. But how do we get to that walker?" Doug asked. Lee paused for a moment.

"No clue. But we'll come up with something," Lee answered.

"Hopefully, that'sh shooner than later," Doug said.

After a few minutes, Lee got the perfect idea. He took out his ax and slashed the lock away.

"What're you doing?!" Doug asked.

"Shh! I have an idea," Lee whispered. He grabbed for the brick in front of him and threw it at a nearby TV store. The brick easily smashed the window.

"Ah, I shee," Doug said.

"But it didn't work," Lee said in disappointment. Then, he remembered that he had a TV remote. He took it out and tried to turn on the TVs in the TV store.

"Hey Lee. Give me that remote for a shecond," Doug said.

"Okay," Lee said as he gave Doug the remote. Doug started pushing the buttons in a certain way.

"Theshe remotesh are univershal. You can shet them up to any TV you want," Doug explained.

"Wow. That's part amazing, part geeky," Lee said.

"I try," Doug said. Then, he pushed the power button and turned on all of the TVs. Of course, due to the apocalypse, there was nothing but black and white fuzz. However, it was good enough to distract the walkers.

"Well I'll be damned. That geeky stuff can save a life," Lee said.

"You're welcome," Doug said.

Very quietly, Lee walked to his undead brother. It only took one look to find the keys in his brother's back pocket.

"Hey buddy. How was life after I was arrested?" Lee asked the walker. However, he only grunted. "It must have been hard for you and our parents. It's funny. I always hated you because you did everything better than me. We were so childish back then." The feelings in Lee were really starting to come out.

"Did you find the keysh yet?" Doug asked.

"Shut up, Doug! I'm trying to have a dramatic moment here!" Lee yelled. He looked back at his brother. "I'm sorry for all of the pain I caused. I won't be surprised if you don't forgive me." Lee raised the ax and swung at his brother's brain. One blow was all it took to end it all. He took the keys and got the hell out of there.

Once Lee and Doug were in the drugstore again, Lee went straight for Lilly.

"I got the keys," Lee said.

"Oh my God! You're amazing!" Lilly said. Moments later, they were in the office. Lee unlocked the door and entered the pharmacy. Unfortunately, his stupid ass forgot that his family installed a security system. Within seconds, an extremely loud alarm went off.

"God damn it!" Lee screamed.

"We have to hurry!" Lilly demanded. The two searched for the nitroglycerin pills.

Outside the drugstore, a herd of walkers were heading for the entrance. Inside the drugstore, the group was panicking.

"Lee, Carley, and Doug, I need you guys to make sure that no walkers get to us. And Lee, I'm gonna need that ax," Kenny said. Lee gave Kenny the ax.

"Clementine. Stay away from the windows," Lee said. Then, Lee, Carley, and Doug headed for the entrance. From outside, walkers were trying to get in. They tried their damnedest to make sure that those walkers wouldn't get in.

"Lee. If we die, I wanted to tell you that you were a cool guy," Doug said.

"Thanks, Doug," Lee said rather rudely.

"Doug. There's something I gotta tell you. I-" Carley said before getting interrupted by walkers. Luckily, they were able to keep them contained.

"What were you going to ashk?" Doug asked.

"Pardon?" Carley asked. To make matters worse, the walkers got in through the windows. Doug ran to cover the windows. "I'll get my gun."

Lee said, "Can you hurry? Oh, and Clementine."

Clementine asked, "Yes?"

Lee replied, "Make yourself useful and find something that can block this door."

Clementine said, "Understood." She ran to find something that can hold off the walkers. More walkers started banging on the front entrance. All of a sudden, Lee got godlike strength and pushed the walkers back. Before Lee knew it, Clementine had a cane in her hands.

"Take this!" she commanded. Lee grabbed the cane and locked the front entrance.

"Help!" Carley yelled when a walker grabbed onto her ankle.

"Help!" Doug yelled as multiple walkers were grabbing him. Doesn't this seem familiar?

Lee felt like a rock in a hard place. For the second time in this story, he had to choose one person over the other. However, this decision was easier than the last one. Lee went to save Carley.

"There's some bullets in my purse," Carley stated. Lee found a purse nearby. He grabbed the bullets and gave them to Carley. She put the bullets in her gun and shot the walker that was gripping onto her ankle. Suddenly, Doug was pulled through the window. Lee, Carley, and Clementine watched in horror as Doug was being eaten alive.

"NO!" Carley screamed.

"We have to go!" Lee yelled. Unexpectedly, a walker was after Clementine.

"Help!" she screamed.

"Oh no you don't!" Lee shouted as he knocked that sucker out. "RUN!" The remaining members ran for their lives. However, as soon as Lee made it to the exit, Larry gripped his arm.

"You're not coming with us, you son of a bitch!" Larry said before socking Lee in the face.

"No!" Clementine screamed.

As Lee was about to become walker food, Kenny came and killed the walker.

"I'm not about to let anyone else die. Especially a good friend," Kenny said while taking Lee's hand. Lee slammed the door behind him and got the hell out of the drugstore.


	9. A New Day Final Part

Chapter 9: A New Day Final Part

The remaining survivors managed to make it to the motel from earlier. From a distance, noises could be heard. Once the sounds died down, the group got rid of all the corpses. Afterwards, they pushed the abandoned vehicles to any open spot. Something told the group that they were gonna be here for a while.

Lee walked up to Glenn, who was listening to his car's radio.

"I gotta leave," Glenn said out of nowhere.

"Leave? But why?" Lee asked.

"I have friends in Atlanta. I'm so worried about their safety. And I just can't stay here, knowing that my friends are in serious danger," Glenn explained.

"It's your choice. No one's forcing you to stay with us," Lee said.

"Thanks for understanding. I guess this is goodbye," Glenn said as he got in his car. He shut the door, put on his seatbelt, and drove to Atlanta.

Then, Lee headed for Kenny.

"Hey Kenny. Thanks for saving my ass back there," Lee said.

"You're welcome. Even though you threw me under the bus back at Hershel's farm, you've always been on my side. And I'll be damned if a good friend of mine were killed by those monsters," Kenny said. Lee remembered Shawn's death in full detail. The thought made Lee cringe. "Are you okay?"

Lee snapped out of it and lied, "Yeah. I'm fine."

As Lee kept on walking, he saw Carley. She had a look of depression on her face.

"You look upset," Lee said, surprising Carley in the process.

"It's that obvious, isn't it?" she asked. "I can't seem to hide anything from you."

Lee said, "That's what makes me amazing."

Carley rolled her eyes before saying, "I keep thinking about Doug. We couldn't have saved him, right?" A part of Lee died when she mentioned Doug like that. A person would only say it like that if they were either in a relationship with them or had a crush on them. Carley and Doug didn't appear to be a couple, so Lee assumed that Carley had a crush on the dorky guy.

Lee replied, "It did happen so fast. I wish I could've saved you both."

Carley asked, "But how did you choose? We both needed your help." Lee blushed the second she asked him that.

"Well... the thing is... I...," Lee tried to say. However, all of that hesitation was proof to Carley that Lee had special feelings for her.

"You have a crush on me, don't you? And that's why you chose to save me?" Carley asked with a grin on her face.

"Well shit. I can't hide anything from you. The truth is that... I'm attracted to you. And that reason alone is why I chose to save you. Now don't get me wrong. I liked Doug, and I did want to save him, but I... you know how romance works," Lee explained.

Then, Carley said, "I knew it! I knew you had romantic feelings for me ever since that time you sang."

Lee said, "Yes. You got me."

Lee walked away to catch up with Clementine. She was talking with Duck.

"And then, the one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater went to Hogwarts and ate tuna fish sandwiches with a totem pole. And then-" Duck said before getting interrupted by Lee.

"Okay, Duck. I think Clementine has had enough story time," Lee said.

"Okie dokie, artichokie!" Duck said before running into the van. "Stupid van!" He punched the van. However, he ended up bruising his hand. "Ouchie wouchie!"

Lee went up to Clementine and asked, "How's life?"

Clementine answered, "Pretty crappy."

Lee asked, "Why is life crappy?"

Clementine replied, "My walkie-talkie broke when that walker grabbed me."

Lee said, "Don't cry. We can get the one that... Damn it!"

Clementine said, "It may sound silly, but my walkie-talkie was how I talked to my parents. And now, it's gone."

Lee said, "Let's just hope that we find another one."

Clementine said, "I'll just keep this one until then."

At that moment, Lee noticed that Larry was giving him a dirty look.

Lee walked towards Larry and asked, "Why are you staring at me?"

Larry asked, "Do you like my daughter?"

Lee looked at Lilly for a moment before saying, "I like her when she's not screaming fuck every 5 seconds."

Larry said, "You stay away from my daughter."

Lee asked, "Or what?"

Larry threatened, "Or everyone will know that you're a killer."

Lee said, "So what? That doesn't mean anything anymore."

Larry said, "I'm just telling you right here, right now. I don't give a shit about you, but if anything happens to my daughter or that little girl of yours, you're a dead man." Larry walked away after saying that. Within moments, Lilly came walking to Lee.

"Hey Lee. Forget those things my dad just said. He could've died if you never came," Lilly said.

"It's nice to hear that the both of you aren't after my head," Lee said. "But Doug is dead because of me."

Lilly said, "You can't blame yourself for everything. You're only one man."

Suddenly, more noises could be heard.

"I hope that's the sound of us winning," Kenny said. "If we can set this place up a little more, this could make for a decent shelter. We've got food, water, and shelter. There are worse places to call home."

Lilly said, "For once, I agree with you. You know, I think everything is gonna be okay." Unexpectedly, the power went out, causing everyone to freak out.

To Be Continued


	10. Episode 1 Recap

Chapter 10: Episode 1 Recap

"Previously, on The Walking Dead," I said in my sexy narrator voice.

Lee was sitting in a police car with an officer on the wheel.

"Blah blah bleebidy da di," the unnamed officer said as he ran over a walker, causing the car to fly backwards. Eventually, the car crashed onto the yellow brick road.

"I don't think I'm in Georgia anymore," Lee said.

Clementine ran up to Lee and said, "Help me! I'm being chased by ferocious Care Bears!" Lee saw that an army of undead Care Bears were heading their way.

"Oh shit!" Lee yelled. "Quick! Get in my car!" The two got into a Chevrolet and drove away.

"Hey there. My name is Kenny. And this is Katjaa and Duck," Kenny greeted.

"I say. You smell worse than my dead mother," Duck said in a British accent.

"What chu say to me, bitch!" Clementine shouted as she got ready to kick Duck in the balls.

"Ooh! You's a cutie patootie," Larry said to Lee.

"Oh stop it," Lee said before making out with Larry.

Carley saw this and said, "Oh my God, that is SO hot!"

"Can I get a toot toot? Can I get a beep beep? Running her hands through my fro. Bouncing on 24's while they saying on the radio. It's the remix to ignition. Hot and fresh out the kitchen. Mama rolling that body, got every man in here wishing. Sipping on coke and rum. I'm like, 'So what I'm drunk?' It's da freaking weekend, baby I'm about to have me some fun," Doug sang.

"Oh noes! Zombiez are aboot to kill us!" Glenn screamed like a little girl. Unfortunately, a zombie grabbed Doug and picked his nose.

"I'm dead," Doug said before succumbing to the nose picking.

"Are you sure about this?" Clementine asked Lee as they were about to play patty cake.

"Of course!" Lee said. They played patty cake, and stuff exploded.


	11. Starved For Help Part 1

Chapter 11: Starved For Help Part 1

We begin this new chapter in a beautiful, empty forest. The birds were chirping, the leaves were falling to the ground, and everything was peaceful. Just then, a walker can be seen. It appeared to be eating a dead rabbit. Then, a familiar black man sneaked his way behind the walker. He raised his ax before swinging it down at full force. Within seconds, the walker was history. It fell to the ground, dying in a matter of seconds.

"What is that?" a white man asked while pointing at the dead rabbit.

"That is what we humans call a rabbit," the black man answered sarcastically.

"Shut up, Lee! It's bad enough that we're starving to death," the white guy said. The two walked away and proceeded to walk.

"Still, it's hard to believe that we ate all of that food in 3 months," the white man stated. By the way, if you're too stupid to tell, it's been 3 months since the events of the 9th chapter. Also, that white man goes by Mark.

"It wouldn't have happened if you put Larry in charge of keeping the food safe," Lee reminded. Mark rolled his eyes before changing the subject.

"Speaking of food, how much do we have left?" Mark asked.

"Hell if I know. Lilly's the one keeping track of that stuff," Lee replied.

"How do you think Kenny's holding up?" Mark asked.

"Hopefully, he's doing better than we are," Lee hoped.

"God, that man. He and Lilly never seem to get along," Mark said. "I mean, they're constantly at each other's throats. Last week, they fought over who would take a bath." Lee cracked up a bit.

"I still can't get over that," Lee said while trying not to laugh.

"He's saying that he's leaving once he gets that RV running," Mark stated.

"Calm down. Kenny may ditch us occasionally, but he will always come back," Lee reassured.

"While we're on the subject of Kenny, did you hear him and Larry last night? What's that old fart's freaking problem? He also seems to hate your guts," Mark wondered.

"He did come from an age where people like me were often discriminated. Maybe that's his deal," Lee suggested.

"Well, he needs to grow up!" Mark stated. "Also, Lilly's saying that he's getting weaker. I sure as hell don't see that. That man is nothing but muscle. I'd hate to be in the same room as him. By the way, didn't he sock you in the face?" Lee remembered that moment pretty well.

"That asswipe knocked me on my feet," Lee said like he was in a trance.

Then, a bird landed on a nearby tree. Mark saw the bird and got ready to shoot it.

"It's not worth it. That little guy isn't gonna feed all of us," Lee said.

"Sorry. My hunger is getting the best of me," Mark said. Unexpectedly, a scream could be heard.

"Who is that?" Lee thought as he and Mark ran towards the sound.

What they saw next was definitely a gruesome scene. A man had one of his legs trapped in a bear trap. Two university students were also there. One had black hair while another had brownish-blonde hair.

"Jesus Christ, somebody help me!" the man screamed in agony. The two students noticed Lee and Mark's presence and panicked.

"Please don't hurt us!" the black haired student begged.

Then, Kenny came out of nowhere and asked, "What's going on?!" He looked at the scene before him and puked the apple he had for lunch.

"Hey Travis! Maybe these guys could help us out," the brownish-blonde haired student suggested.

"Don't be stupid, Ben! These may be the same guys that raided our camp the other day," Travis said.

"Let's be adults here. We are not camp raiders. I promise," Lee said.

"Why should we believe you?" Travis asked.

"Wouldn't a camp raider leave a man trapped in a bear trap behind?" Lee asked.

"I guess," Travis said.

"Good. Now let's help this poor fella," Lee said while walking to the guy stuck in a bear trap.

"Thank you!" the man cheered.

"That's nice, but can we please hurry?" Kenny asked as walkers started showing up.

Lee and Mark investigated the bear trap.

"This doesn't make sense. Who builds a bear trap without a release latch?" Mark wondered. After some more examining, he found out that it was a bear trap made by Telltale Inc. "Figures!"

Lee suggested, "Then we're gonna have to cut this man's leg off." The man's eyes almost bulged out of his sockets.

"Please! There has to be another way," the man begged.

"I wish there was," Lee said before slamming his ax onto the man's leg. Blood went everywhere, and the man screamed like a bitch.

"GOD DAMN IT!" he shouted. Lee gave it another go, and he managed to get halfway through the leg. "JESUS COCK-SUCKING CHRIST!" Another swing was made, and the leg was almost cut off. "DICK SHIT MOTHER FUCKING BITCH!" One last swing later, the leg was completely cut off. "Thank God, it's over." The man passed out.

Lee grabbed the man and ran like Hell. Everyone else soon followed. However, Ben tripped over a pebble and fell to the ground, taking Travis with him.

"Get up!" Kenny shouted. Walkers were a few steps away from the university students. They crawled until they bumped into a rock. Soon, they were surrounded by walkers. The walkers started digging their teeth into Ben and Travis's necks. Then, their intestines were ripped out. Everyone else got out alive.


	12. Starved For Help Part 2

Chapter 12: Starved For Help Part 2

Back at the motel, things were pretty peaceful (yeah, I'm just as surprised as you). Lilly kept watch, Larry was repairing the fence (which in my honest to God opinion wouldn't stop a single walker), Clementine kicked a soccer ball (even though she hates soccer), and the others did their own thing. Suddenly, some bushes from outside the fence rustled around. Lilly heard this and got her gun ready. She whistled, signaling the others to lay low and shut their mouths. The tension was high as everyone waited for what was behind the bushes.

Then, Lee and his group were within Lilly's eyesight.

"Open the gates! We've got wounded!" he shouted.

"What is that man doing?" Lilly thought as she saw that teacher who got his leg chopped off.

As the gates opened, fear and panic started setting in.

"Look mama! People new!" Duck cheered.

"Honey, can you fix him?" Kenny asked Katjaa while laying the one-legged man down on a nearby truck.

"Excuse me?" she asked before looking at the poor guy. "I don't know. Maybe."

"Are you okay, Lee?" Clementine wondered.

"Lee!" Lilly screamed. "What the fuck were you thinking?! Why the fuck are you bringing in fucking strangers?!"

"We saved this man's life. I couldn't have just let him die," Lee replied. Of course, Lilly was too pissed off to even care.

"Damn it, Lee! We aren't the fucking police! We can't save every fucking survivor we fucking see! Our fucking group is all that fucking matters!" Lilly reminded.

"Hold on a minute. We haven't even met these people yet. I'm sure they can be helpful," Carley stated.

"Carley has a point. They're just trying to survive like us," Mark agreed.

"We only brought you in because you had food. And now it's almost gone. I don't suppose you guys have food on you?" Lilly reminded while calming down a bit.

"No," Ben answered. Lee saw the student and had his mind blown.

"Didn't he die back there?" Lee thought.

"Whatever. It's not like you're gonna listen to me," Mark said while rolling his eyes. "Welcome to the family."

Clementine walked up to Ben and said, "Come with me."

Ben asked, "Why?"

Clementine answered, "Trust me. You don't want to get involved." She grabbed Ben's hand and dragged him from the fight that was about to burn up.

"You see why you shouldn't be the leader! We can make our own decisions! This isn't a dictatorship!" Kenny yelled.

"Not this again! I'm gonna leave before you two end up arguing over the bathtub again," Carley sighed angrily before walking away.

"Fuck you! I didn't choose to be the fucking leader! Everything was fine not too long ago, but now that we're running out of food, I get treated like a fucking Nazi!" Lilly shouted.

"Lilly's right. Someone has to keep this group under control. If we don't, things are only gonna get chaotic," Lee pointed out.

"Are you kidding me?! I thought we were friends!" Kenny pouted before taking out a bracelet. A month ago, these two made friendship bracelets. He threw the bracelet onto the ground and stomped on it. "This friendship is over!" He proceeded to run away and bawl like a 2-year old.

"Fucking crybaby," Larry said.

"For once, I agree with you," Lee agreed.

"Besides, I don't see any of you stepping up to the plate. My daughter has bigger balls than all of you combined," Larry proudly stated.

"Come on, dad. Maybe Mark would like some help with the fence?" Lilly said while blushing in embarrassment. The old man was kind enough to do such a deed. "This job is so stressful."

"I bet it is," Lee agreed.

"Lee. Can you do me a favor?" Lilly asked.

"Sure thing," Lee replied.

"This may seem like too much, but are you willing to hand out the rations for today? I only have enough for four people," Lilly wondered while taking out one half of an apple, a piece of beef jerky, and two packages of crackers and cheese.

"Alright. I got nothing better to do," Lee accepted.

"Thanks. Even when you aggravate me, you still find ways to cheer me up," Lilly sighed happily before resting. Lee looked at the food he was given. There were ten people, but there was only enough to feed a maximum of four people. He knew that this wasn't gonna end happily.

"At least the first two choices will be easy," Lee said as he walked towards Clementine and Duck. He noticed that Clementine wasn't wearing her hat.

"What happened to your hat?" Lee asked.

"I don't know. I had it with me yesterday. Now it's suddenly gone. Can you help me find it?" Clementine revealed.

"Sure," Lee replied. "Oh, and one more thing." He gave Clementine the apple while giving Duck crackers and cheese.

"I love me some apples!" Clementine cheered before tearing the apple apart like a ravenous animal. "So good!"

"Screw you, Eel!" Duck blessed while attempting to eat the cracker. However, he had a hard time biting it down. "What made of this cracker?!" Sure, Lee may have been annoyed by Kenny's childish outburst, but Duck is still a kid. He needs it just as much as Clementine. Lee proceeded to head for Larry and Mark's location.

"Will you stop dropping the damn board?!" Larry demanded while losing his cool.

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm getting weaker a lot faster than I thought," Mark apologized.

"You need help? Here. Take the 60 cents I have in my pocket. That'll stop you from becoming a pansy," Larry advised. Just then, Mark noticed Lee's presence.

"Hey Lee!" Mark greeted. "You came to help with the fence?"

"Not really. Lilly gave me the responsibility of handing out rations," Lee replied.

"That sucks," Mark said, frowning at the harshness that was Lee's task. Larry saw the ax Lee had in his possession and got an idea.

"That ax you're carrying. Give it to me for a minute," Larry demanded.

"This ain't the 1950's, you old fart!" Mark yelled.

"How is that relevant?!" Larry screamed, bewildered by Mark's accusation.

"Lee said that the reason you punched him back at the drugstore was because you lived in a time when black people were treated like garbage," Mark explained. Lee gave Mark a death glare as Larry's face turned red from anger.

"Mark, you're drunk. Maybe you should rest," Lee suggested.

"But I haven't been drinking," Mark rebutted.

"Just go!" Lee demanded as Mark skedaddled out of there. "Kids these days. They say the darndest things."

"Whatever," Larry said while calming down.

"By the way, here's some food," Lee said before giving Larry the beef jerky.

"That's nice of you," Larry said grumpily. Lee went on to give the old man his ax.

"Make sure that fence is good as new," Lee stated.

"I get it! You aren't my father!" Larry grunted.

Finally, Lee walked to Carley.

"Hey Lee. If you wanna go on a date with me, the answer is no," Carley pointed out.

"Actually, I came here to give you some food," Lee said as he took out more crackers and cheese.

"Thanks, but I'll pass," Carley said.

"Why? Aren't you hungry?" Lee asked.

"I am, but I'm sure other people are more hungry than me," Carley reassured.

"Okay," Lee said before randomly dumping the last of the food onto Ben's lap.

"Thank you," Ben praised.

"How are you alive? I saw you die back there," Lee wondered.

"What do you mean?" Ben asked. "I never died. After all, I'm still here."

"B-But you..." Lee stammered before deciding to drop it. "At least I don't have to worry about the rations anymore."


End file.
